Social Science

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents has one goal: prepare you to raise young children.

Dr. Gary Chapman—longtime relationship expert and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages—teams up with Dr. Shannon Warden—professor of counseling, wife, and mother of three—to give young parents a book that is practical, informed, and enjoyable.

Together they share what they wished they had known before having kids. For example: children affect your time, your money, and your marriage—and that’s just the beginning. With warmth and humor they offer practical advice on everything from potty training to scheduling, apologizing to your child, and keeping your marriage strong… all the while celebrating the great joy that children bring.

If you’re like most people, you think your individual tastes and opinions drive your choices and behaviors. You wear a certain jacket because you liked how it looked. You picked a particular career because you found it interesting. The notion that our choices are driven by our own personal thoughts and opinions is patently obvious. Right? Wrong.

Without our realizing it, other people’s behavior has a huge influence on everything we do at every moment of our lives, from the mundane to the momentous. Even strangers have an impact on our judgments and decisions: our attitudes toward a welfare policy shift if we’re told it is supported by Democrats versus Republicans (even though the policy is the same). But social influence doesn’t just lead us to do the same things as others. In some cases we imitate others around us. But in other cases we avoid particular choices or behaviors because other people are doing them. We stop listening to a band because they go mainstream. We skip buying the minivan because we don’t want to look like a soccer mom.

By understanding how social influence works, we can decide when to resist and when to embrace it—and learn how we can use this knowledge to exercise more control over our own behavior.